1. overheard-at-school:

    "I’m sorry, but a cleaning lady could totally kill someone with Lysol, a chicken, and a skillet."

              “What does that matter? We’re all hairy sacks of water.”

  2. overheard-at-school:

    "Dude, why do you even need your pencil to be that sharp?"

              “TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.”

    here-booker-catch:

    dragonswithmatches:

    I said no fucking twizzlers, Billy!

    give me my twizzlers, fuckboy

    (Source: spookingdragons, via nebroska)

  3. corporateaccount:

    thefinnishprince:

    corporateaccount:

    walmarts:

    corporateaccount:

    hey

    I peel bananas from the “correct” side which is unconventional and it makes me feel superior

    i microwave my banananas for 999 minutes and burn my hands trying to peel them

    wouldnt the banana like

    explode

    i don’t give a shit

    (via knochai)

  4. earthdad:

    do u ever take out the trash and feel like you should throw yourself out along with it

    (via zackisontumblr)

  5. (Source: gabsygabs, via ruinedchildhood)

  6. communistbakery:

    my aesthetic

    (via ernoticon)

  7. lilitacarrio:

    spaceexp:

    Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you.

    the light is lucky to be reaching me tbh

    (via ushtunurwun)

  8. (via pemsylvania)

  9. theindianbummer:

    my booty, by Morgan Rich

    (via 16o)

  10. (Source: dread-scouts, via brittlepeas)